Evolution of the Water Droplet Man

It is the current consensus of the scientific community that all living creatures, both extant and extinct, have evolved from a common biological ancestor born (for lack of a better word) in the waters of the primeval Earth. Descendants of this original ancestor eventually moved upon the dry land and gave rise to various species in the genus Homo. A few examples follow in order of appearance:

• H. habilis – literally "Man who is skillful";
• H. erectus – literally "Man who stands up" (presumably he is able to stand skillfully);
• H. neanderthalensis – commonly "Neanderthal," literally "Man found in a small valley nearly 8 miles east of Düsseldorf";
• H. sapiens – literally "Man who is wise," commonly "us";
• H. sapiens sapiens – literally "Man who knows better".

In a way similar to our primeval common ancestor, life for Water Droplet Man began in the waters—the waters of the janitor's mop bucket, spilled upon the dry land of the break room floor. In this case, Water Droplet Man was not simply the result of natural selection operating on a set of random mutations. One can find much evidence of Intelligent Design present in the various extant fossils and artifacts remaining of Water Droplet Man.

Evidence that Photoshop was used in Water Droplet Man's—dare we say—creation has been confirmed by several members of the scientific community. Meyer, Behe, and Klinghoffer concluded that only an intelligence could have applied Photoshop techniques to Water Droplet Man. Meyer et al. further suggested that an even greater intelligence would have been required to develop Photoshop in the first place. Their paper, of course, failed the peer review process and Meyer et al. were shunned by the mainstream biological journals.

Famous evolutionary biologist and militant atheist Richard Dawkins, author of The Selfish Gene and The God Delusion, stated in a press release that Meyer et al. "are just total idiots who can't seem to grasp the idea that the fact that something appears to be designed by some intelligence is not sufficient evidence for the existence of that intelligence." In a review of Dawkins's God Delusion one critic for the New York Times wrote that "there is not sufficient evidence within these pages to suggest that this book was created by any kind of intelligence whatsoever."

See Also

1. Archived photo of the original Water Droplet Man find in 2014.
2. Images of Water Droplet Man and other doodles.